Today marks four months from the day Noah and Esther met. The day Noah realized that Esther was much more than some girl in a picture. More than just a short video clip. She began to learn that Esther was someone who she would have to share her Mommy with. Her Daddy with. Her room and her toys with. Her life with.
So what’s that like? It isn’t easy. But really when is it ever easy for a toddler to gain a new sibling? It’s been difficult but I wouldn’t change it and and definitely don’t regret it. Noah loved Esther from day one. Often times more than Esther wanted to be loved by her “new” sister. But despite all her love, coming back home and sharing everything with Esther was hard. Plus throw in some new molars, a few more toddler milestones, and learning how to make decisions on your on and it was almost overload for Noah in the beginning.
I’m not going to go into the details but during our first few weeks back it wasn’t uncommon for Noah to spend half the day in tears. Despite the tears she really didn’t want to be comforted but instead just wallow in her unhappiness. It happens to the best of us.
As the weeks turned to months things improved. The girls have slowly learned what personal property is. We have “named” certain toys as Esther’s or Noah’s and the majority are shared. And the biggest helper of all has been the TIMER. It has given me sanity on many chaotic moments. Let me explain.
Let’s say Noah is playing with the doll. Esther then decides that this is the toy she wants to play with. No other toy will do. It has to be this one right now. RIGHT NOW!!! Moms, you know what I’m talking about. This is the point where I intervene and we talk about sharing and loving others. I might ask Noah if she will let Esther play with the doll. Fat chance that will happen though. I might ask Esther if she can find something else she wants to play with. Yeah right! So then I intervene and say we are going to set a timer and in three minutes Esther can play with the doll. They agree and the timer goes off three minutes later…
no complaints. It’s amazing! They don’t protest an inanimate third party. It’s genius I tell you. They gladly swap and then ask for the timer to be set again. I love it!!! Thanks Lifeline Children’s Services. (Lifeline is another reason for my sanity. If I’m having a bad day I can just call their post adoptio
n social workers and they are there to listen and help me as needed. I wish every mom had someone to call like them.)
Something amazing has happened in the past two weeks though.
ng in an argument over a toy. I mean playing together like dragging every blanket, doll, and thirty books out of their room to play “school” on the stairs. I mean, Esther chooses to play with Noah instead of moping in her bed while I get ready in the mornings. I mean giggling and playing with each other using some sort of gibberish that Michael Luke and I don’t understand. I love hearing them giggle when they have these moments. During these times I feel as though God is saying, “The road was difficult but the reward is sweet.” And I smile and agree.
P.S. Through sharing these adoption posts I have met and had the privilege of talking with many other families that are considering adoption and adoption from Hong Kong. I love talking with each one of you. If you are considering adoption please e-mail me Krystle@colortransformedfamily.com. I would love to answer any questions that you may have and talk more in depth with you about the process. Please be patient with my response time though. I’m afraid I don’t respond as quickly as I would like to.
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